Breaking Cycles in Motherhood: Raising Daughters Who Know They’re Good Inside
As a mom of two young daughters, I think about the example I’m setting every single day. I want my girls to grow up with confidence, grace, and the deep knowledge that they are good inside — not because of what they do, how they look, or how perfect they are, but simply because of who they are in God’s eyes.
The truth? I’m learning this right alongside them.
Accepting that I am good inside hasn’t always been easy for me. I grew up in patterns of self-criticism, perfectionism, and thinking my worth was tied to my performance. So when I talk to my daughters about their goodness, I’m also speaking to the little girl inside me who needed to hear those same words.
Cycle-breaking means showing up in ways I wasn’t always shown — and that includes taking accountability, speaking kindly to myself, and modeling what it looks like to make mistakes and then make them right.
1. Apologizing & Taking Accountability
One of my main focuses as a mom is apologizing when I’m wrong. I don’t want my daughters to grow up thinking parents are always right or that mistakes should be hidden.
When I snap because I’m tired, when I rush them instead of listening, when I misunderstand — I name it. I tell them, “I’m sorry. That wasn’t the right way to handle that, I’m going to try to do better next time”.
Taking accountability teaches them that love is humble, relationships are repairable, and mistakes are just opportunities to grow.
2. Breaking The Cycle Of Negative Self-Talk & Body Image
I want my daughters to know their value has nothing to do with the size of their jeans, the shape of their body, or how close they are to the “ideal” our culture pushes.
I’ve made a choice not to speak negatively about my body in front of them — and that choice is rooted in gratitude. My body has carried me through life. It has given me my two beautiful girls. It has healed, adapted, and amazed me more than I could ever put into words.
When I’m tempted to critique myself in the mirror, I stop. Because I know little ears are listening. And I want them to grow up hearing their mom thank her body, not shame it.
3. Letting Go Of Perfectionism
I don’t want my girls to believe they have to be perfect to be loved or accepted.
So we celebrate the mess. The half-burnt cookies. The crooked drawings. The spilled milk. The mismatched outfits. We even have a fun name for them — our “oopsie-do’s.”
Perfectionism robs us of joy. I want my home to be a safe space where my daughters feel free to try, fail, try again, and laugh along the way.
4. Learning Alongside My Children
Cycle breaking doesn’t mean I’ve figured it all out — it means I’m committed to growing.
There are days I still battle with my own inner critic. There are moments I catch myself chasing perfection. But instead of hiding those struggles, I talk about them with my girls.
I tell them, “Mommy is learning too.”
I want them to see that growth is a lifelong process, and that even as adults, we can choose better and kinder ways to treat ourselves and each other.
5. Planting Seeds For Their Future
I may not get everything right, but every apology, every kind word about myself, every time I let the mess be — I’m planting seeds. Seeds of self-worth, resilience, grace, and compassion.
And I pray that one day, when my daughters are grown, they will look in the mirror and know without a doubt:
They are loved.
They are enough.
They are good inside.